Like a Sister
[Authorial commentary: this was written in a form that went into more detail; parts of two sentences have been obscured below for publication here. Mostly this is a condensed and deliberately altered retelling of certain events of “End of an Era” and “Identity”. I would have segued further into Elliot’s dream encounter with Tedd in Identity, but didn’t feel that I could do that scene justice. All characters belong to Dan Shive, who has my permission to the greatest extent grantable under the law to use, with or without attribution, any or all character developments and/or plotlines which I make with them in this work, which are mainly rehashes of Dan’s own anyway. See also this work on AO3. -- HarJIT]
Her breath feels warm against your face. As you embrace and kiss, you feel affection, that this feral and spunky girl wants you; you feel your pulse, and hers, pounding between your bosoms, you feel an intense pleasure emanate throughout your body as (…content redacted…). But moreover you want to hold her, to taste and cherish this moment for as long as it lasts.
Eventually, you withdraw from each others’ mouths and separate. As you brush your blonde hair from your eyes and begrudgingly wipe the blended saliva from your face, your companion loudly exclaims.
“Hey, everyone! I’m totally Elliot’s lover!”
“No, I’m her lover!” Nanase interjects. From nowhere she appears, as a stomach-chilling flood of shame and regret hits your frame. That Nanase, your beloved, has seen you exercise your lusts, but not with her, that you have done so despite knowing it to be wrong, is almost too much to comprehend. You fall to the ground in shame and guilt.
“I’m her lover!” comes Sarah, again out of nowhere. Nanase and Catalina are now by your side, comforting you as you weep, apparently unfazed by the your infidelity, unlike yourself. This only leads your stomach to sink further, realising that Sarah has seen you with the others. How could you forget Sarah, your one true love, your…
Who even do you love?
You find yourself on a large recliner, with the others either side of you. You are still sobbing into a pillow, in the foetal position, as Sarah and Nanase futilely attempt to comfort you. Catalina is gone, and Susan has appeared, sitting nonchalantly on the side of the couch. As she turns to you, your eyes meet, you gaze admiringly, relishingly, at her visage. Your true love, it must be, but…
Susan is above you now, (…content redacted…) as Sarah and Nanase look on in horror. As your immense arousal intensifies, so does crushing shame as you witness your true love, whoever that may be, witness to your inexcusable adultery, as lust overwhelms you so does angst and hatred, for yourself, for your life, for your choices, ever increasing, ever worsening, until…
All comes to climax at once. Shivers of pleasure wash through your body, the bottom falls from your stomach, as the couch gives way and you reflexively brace yourself for the collision with…
You come to your senses, soaking wet, your pyjamas, sheets and duvet drenched with cold sweat and warm urine as you continue wetting the bed, already too ashamed to care about fighting it as you moan in grief and mental tribulation. You hear your sister stir, then leave her bed and come over to you.
“Elliot? You alright?” she asks, softly.
You continue to vocalise without words, unable to speak, as your pillow absorbs your tears. It must be obvious that you are, quite plainly, not alright.
“Do you want a drink?”
“What were you dreaming about?”
You continue trying and failing to suckle on the teat-bottle, still muted by shock and turmoil, unable to respond to the question.
Ellen lies next to you, seemingly unfazed by the wetness, and embraces you, like a mother to a distraught child. You continue to weep into your sister’s arms without saying a word.
Eventually, after what feels like hours, you summon the force to speak. “I”, you sob, “am history’s”, “greatest”, “monster”.
There is a pause as Ellen registers what you’ve said, slowly coming to a realisation.
“You cheated on Sarah, didn’t you.”
You can only nod against her arm, now drenched in tears, as you continue to sob uncontrollably.
“Well, by that token, I’ve cheated on Nanase countless times already.”
This is enough to shock you to your senses. “You what?”, you whisper.
“She doesn’t mind. She thinks Tedd’s hot too.” Ellen continues to stroke your back affectionately, as you drain the bottle, wide-eyed, her embrace comforting and consoling.
[Note: I realise I should add that attraction not-equals incestual activity. I am not shipping. Although whether first cousins constitute incest is disputed.]
But who do you love?
“How do you love Sarah?”
You’re back on the recliner. Tedd is sitting in a leather office chair beside you.
“I… I really care about her. She’s my oldest friend. She’s cute and fun. I want her to be happy. She wants me to be happy. I want her to always be in my life.”
“All right,” Tedd responds, writing something down on his clipboard. “How do you love Susan?”
“I… I don’t know. It’s like I have … feelings for her which I don’t have for Sarah. Like I’m some sort of … traitor or something.”
“How do you love Ellen?”
“She’s my sister. I want her to be happy. She wants me to be happy. She…”, you trail off as you realise something.
“… she’s a sister to you. Like Sarah.” Tedd finishes.
